Now we`ve really started

Hello again,

Today marks the first day of a brand new chapter ladies and gents. I have officially quit my usual full time job to concentrate on Absent full time.  It’s a little scary as there’s no money coming in obviously, but if you don’t take risks I guess you’ll never know. What I do know is that I would regret not doing it in years to come.

It’s a coincidence that today is also the 1st of Movember, Movember as I’m sure you’ve heard promotes mens health issues, and seeing as one of the main reasons I started Absent was to focus on mental health issues, pretty fitting I think

By the way,  Movember Worldwide  is the place to go to get lots of great information and donate a few pounds, dollars or euros.

So picking up from last time, the intensity of emotions now started to hit after not seeing the kids for some time. Whilst going through the drama leading up to the separation from the kids, the main emotions for me were frustration and sadness, but now, this overwhelming darkness enveloped me down to the very core of my soul.

This is where I think my passion for Absent comes from. That feeling will never leave me, I can now control it, which is the best I’ll ever do. Even when , not if, but when, I’m back with my kids and we have our relationship back, that feeling will always be with me.

I’m no therapist, so I would not dream of trying to explain the process of the mind, and I’m guessing we are all unique, but I will say that without help and support, that feeling could kill you.  Indeed there have been a few circumstances where people have taken their own lives after experiencing parental alienation, and may they now rest in peace. This is no joke people, this is not a game, and this needs so much more attention from courts and governments around the world.

It’s a chemical thing

My first piece of advice, get some help. I actually went to see my doctor due to stomach pains, and I came away 2 visits later with antidepressants. I didn’t want to admit I couldn’t cope. I am a big man, I can sort myself out. What the doc told me was it didn’t matter how much I could benchpress, your brain and your body can only take so much. And it takes you over ….


Take a look at mind, what’s the saying, sick not weak. It’s caught on for a reason.

I hope you find this small piece of advice helpful, I wish I had listened to it a couple of years ago.

Please comment if you’d like.  Thanks to the 1 fella last time, you made my day my friend ….







What is this `Absent` all about then ??

Here we go

This is a first … my first ever blog.  Just turned 40 years old and up until now, ‘cut and paste’ was my limit, and in my book, pretty much computer programming.

So what is blogging all about then ? Honestly, I dont really know, but what I do know is that I wont be following any set format or have any fancy ways of getting people involved.

I thought Id try just chatting to you as if we were chatting face to face.  Now Ive had enough people make their excuses to leave in that situation, but I guess here, you can just click off.  Much better for my self-esteem I guess.

So, Absent …. what is it all about then I hear you ask.

Well basically I have been caught up in this new global sensation sweeping from nation to nation known as parental alienation. I wont bore you all with the details, but if you are going through it also, it is pretty much up there with the most painful experiences you can get.

As a bloke, Im not sure about childbirth, I hear that stings a bit, but I have had a kick in the nuts and Id take 100 in a row and it wouldnt come close to this. Ive done the court thing, it didnt work out well, and even had a court order for contact, but when the relationship with your kids gets poisioned, and you can see the confusion in their eyes of how to act and what to say when they are with you, I asked myself what good is contact if it puts so much pressure on them that they don`t even act like themselves anymore.

I think that childhood is short, and precious, and I could no longer see them basically suffering. So the final time I was told they didnt want to come I didnt push it. I thought everyone needed to chill a bit. Lets give it a week or two and start again. But the weeks turned to months, then years. Lots went on in the meantime, but as long as I thought they were out of this toxic situation that they didnt ask to be put into, then that was ok.

But could they be happy without me ? What were they being told ? How would that affect them ?

What is didn’t give much consideration to, was how was it going to affect me.

That’ll do me for my first blog.  I hope not everyone clicked off and there is a few of you left. I’ll practise a little more and continue soon.

Please leave any comments, any feedback would be great.

Thank you