Intimidation and manipulation are words we are all too familiar with these days. There are those who are prepared to do whatever it takes, by whatever means, with no regards of the consequences, especially to the impact on others. Now I am getting older, and possibly turning into that grumpy old man, I am getting so sick of this shit. I know the utopian society is just a dream, and there are some wonderful, caring, selfless people in the world, but these egotistical narcissists really do need to come down a peg or two – in my opinion obviously.
But what the H. E. double hockey sticks is alethephobia ? No need to Google it folks, I’ve already done it. It is the fear of knowing the truth. You see when you are not with your loved ones due to forced absence the truth can be a scary prospect for both parties.
Do they believe the crap they’ve been fed? Has too much time passed? Will they reject me?
Is it my fault they don’t want me? Am I a bad person? What if this is not the truth?
Sometimes the fear of finding out the truth can be so overpowering that the truth itself remains a mystery. Lives are put on hold, simply wondering. Relationships are lost forever because the fear of the truth can be terrifying. But it doesn’t have to be.
Think about it for a moment. There is someone not in your life that you want, and you spend a lot of time running over scenarios in your head of what you would say, or how you would react when you saw them. But the harsh reality is that they are not in your life and you suffer with your thoughts. Dealing with ambiguous loss causes so much pain that leads to all manner of issues and problems.
But if you did reach out to them, and got a response, there are only two scenarios.
Firstly, they tell you to bugger off. A gutwrenching outcome which will undoubtedly leave you distraught and in pieces. But at least you will know where you stand. The daily routine of running the scenarios can be let go, and you can start to deal with the situation you now find yourself in.
But the second scenario is the big one. The one you’ve been waiting for. You reach out, they respond. You make a little contact, then a little more, and before you know it they are back, back in your life where they belong.
Now I can’t say which is the more likely outcome. Clearly I’d pick the second one. But I guess you get to the point when even if you did get the first outcome slapped in your face, at least you know the truth.