This post is specifically aimed at those of you who are dealing with a hostile or unreasonable ex partner.
You’ve probably already encountered behaviour from them that makes you question what you were thinking by getting involved with them in the first place. Indeed many people refer to them as their Y’s not X’s.
In creating the Absent platform, I am self educating in basic psychology, I find it helps my own personal situation. So I thought I’d share some of my findings so you guys can do your own research, and apply it to your own situations.
So, the next time things erupt with the ex over the kids, or divorce, try and apply this model so you can hopefully get something achieved.
It’s called the Parent-Adult-Child model.
Click on the link for the in-depth explanation, but put simply it defines the 3 states of mind people are generally in. Depending on what state each individual is in at the time, that will determine the outcome of the situation. Gaining knowledge of these states will also help how you react in these situations.
Another way to approach these situations is to think of the issue as a circle, but you can only influence your half of the circle. Now depending on the other person’s state of mind, you have absolutely no say on how they handle their half of the circle. You could be putting forward such a good argument, in a calm manner which is clearly 100% the correct thing to do, but if they aren’t having it, losing your patience and temper will also not have any impact.
Unfortunately, none of this will help with the issue at hand, but I believe having the tools to help your own mind get to grips with the situation can only be positive.
We have all seen instances where people have been unable to cope with it, and take their own lives. By arming ourselves with knowledge about the human brain and how it all works, it will ultimately give us the strength to cope with pretty much anything.
Knowledge is power don’t forget