Where we are, and where are we going ??

Decisions.. Decisions..

Ok, so here we are. Trying to start this venture, with honestly no prior experience in how you market or promote, in how you get backers, or followers or likes. Or if anyone else even knows what you are on about, is tough.

The drive and focus are easy, and even if Absent falls flat on its face, I hope that one day my children will see the lengths I was prepared to go to, to show them the truth. Hell if trying to start a worldwide movement in how people reunite isn’t a start then I don’t know what is.

There are of course pros and cons working on Absent.  The pros speak for themselves in the fact that I am working on something that I am so passionate about, not only for my own gain but for millions of people who must feel like I feel. The cons do play their part also, the constant reminder of how not only I live, but so many others can make you feel like s**t.

But I must remember what I am trying to achieve here, and nobody said it was going to be easy.

The holiday season is nearly upon us, with Thanksgiving in the U.S. in a couple of days, and of course Christmas in about a month, so everyone needs to take care of themselves over the silly season.


What do people do over the holidays when they are absent from their loved ones ??


Personally, I cannot wait for the whole thing to be over. Maybe that is the wrong way to look at it, but it’s true. It’s not for the fact I haven’t got loved ones around me.My beautiful wife, my stepson and all the family are all here, and I know that makes me luckier than most, but the fact that is Christmas makes me miss my children more than any other time of the year.  Maybe this year, I need to focus more on what I have, rather than what I am without. But we could all say that all the time couldn’t we. One of my favourite actors Michael J Fox once said referring to his Parkinsons diagnosis

‘The point is, we all have our bag of hammers. We all have our own s**t. It’s like the parable about this circle of people and everyone takes their worst problem and puts it in the middle and they all get to choose one to take back – and they all end up choosing their own. And that’s kind of it. You’d always take your own problems back over someone else’s.’

Who didn’t want to be Marty McFly … or was that just me.
So maybe something to take from this, yes everyone has their problems, but there is always someone worse off.
Maybe start thinking about how you are going to approach the holidays this year. Do you want to surround yourself with people, and even … children. I mean how is that going to go?
Or would you prefer a more chilled time, or even a holiday away?
Whatever you decide to do, try and balance your needs with that of your loved ones.
You won’t please everyone, but we already know this…


What is this `Absent` all about then ??

Here we go

This is a first … my first ever blog.  Just turned 40 years old and up until now, ‘cut and paste’ was my limit, and in my book, pretty much computer programming.

So what is blogging all about then ? Honestly, I dont really know, but what I do know is that I wont be following any set format or have any fancy ways of getting people involved.

I thought Id try just chatting to you as if we were chatting face to face.  Now Ive had enough people make their excuses to leave in that situation, but I guess here, you can just click off.  Much better for my self-esteem I guess.

So, Absent …. what is it all about then I hear you ask.

Well basically I have been caught up in this new global sensation sweeping from nation to nation known as parental alienation. I wont bore you all with the details, but if you are going through it also, it is pretty much up there with the most painful experiences you can get.

As a bloke, Im not sure about childbirth, I hear that stings a bit, but I have had a kick in the nuts and Id take 100 in a row and it wouldnt come close to this. Ive done the court thing, it didnt work out well, and even had a court order for contact, but when the relationship with your kids gets poisioned, and you can see the confusion in their eyes of how to act and what to say when they are with you, I asked myself what good is contact if it puts so much pressure on them that they don`t even act like themselves anymore.

I think that childhood is short, and precious, and I could no longer see them basically suffering. So the final time I was told they didnt want to come I didnt push it. I thought everyone needed to chill a bit. Lets give it a week or two and start again. But the weeks turned to months, then years. Lots went on in the meantime, but as long as I thought they were out of this toxic situation that they didnt ask to be put into, then that was ok.

But could they be happy without me ? What were they being told ? How would that affect them ?

What is didn’t give much consideration to, was how was it going to affect me.

That’ll do me for my first blog.  I hope not everyone clicked off and there is a few of you left. I’ll practise a little more and continue soon.

Please leave any comments, any feedback would be great.

Thank you